Sweet, sweet Kyle. Ever the optimist, she gets the ladies together again for an ill-fated game night in this episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It’s like these ladies have never had a party go wrong in the past. “Compromising Positions” is a fitting title for 60 minutes of nonsense from grown women unashamed about miming sex acts and giving each other crystals for healing.
And, yes, we are still talking about Erika’s pantyless vagina, and Dorit is still digging her own grave. On the bright side, we get a little peek at one of our old faves when Kim Richards makes a cameo, and a good old-fashioned catfight breaks out again over absolutely nothing.
A Little Leftover Luncheon Drama
The previous episode left off during Camille’s luncheon, just as the argument between Dorit and Eileen was heating up. We pick up in this episode with Dorit feeling attacked and, by her own admission, “defensive.” Ugh. Enough already with Dorit’s foolishness. She isn’t as cool as she believes she is or as “above it all” as she pretends to be, and she’s about to find out how little these ladies will stand for.
Kim Richards Is Back for a Bit
We can handle Kim in small doses, so the event of her first grandchild is a good way for us to get just enough of her that we don’t get annoyed. Maybe a clean and sober Kim is a better fit for reality fame, but I have my doubts. Kyle hosted a baby shower that we didn’t get to see, but we do get a peek of Kim’s new dress with the security tag still on it. (Jump to your own salacious conclusion here.) Kim seems happy and healthy, and I hope being around all these ladies doesn’t poison her by proxy.
Rinna Has a New Girl Crush
Maybe I was too quick to call Rinna a fame whore in my previous recap but probably not. Although it seems like she and Eden (heir to the Vidal Sassoon empire) are really hitting it off, you can’t ever tell what’s real with Rinna. Over a regular weekday lunch, they cover everything from abandonment issues to sobriety to healing. Cheery stuff. Rinna feels a real “connection.” Sigh.
I really wish I could be less cynical about Lisa Rinna, but I tend to see Kim’s point. She’s a personality vampire, absorbing the traits of whomever is closest to her. But then she shouts about what an individual she is. Don’t believe me? Just check out her Instagram feed.
Erika Jayne is a Boss
She’s got more class and patience in her stiletto pump than the rest of these nutty women have in one acrylic nail. I would have grown tired a long time ago of hearing these women talk about my vag, but she just sits, poised and reserved, and never lets them see her lose her cool.
I want to be her when I grow up — and not just for those banging outfits, sexy videos and a weave game so on point that I can’t look at anything else.
The Least Fun Game Night Ever
It starts out fine enough. Ladies arrive, they drink, they eat, they make awkward small talk. Even Rinna and Kim Richards find common ground in Kim’s new grandchild; they even exchange a few stilted pleasantries and forced smiles. They are cool with each other for exactly 32 seconds until Kim catches Rinna rolling her eyes at her. (Although, I think Rinna is actually reacting to Dorit.)
Eden is a big hit at the party, however. Obviously, Rinna is panting after her, but now Dorit has lust in her heart for her too. The joke’s on Dorit and Rinna, though, because Eden only has lust for Erika. (Me too, girl. Me too.)
To break up the party, Kyle drags Dorit back to the table, and of course we’re back to talking about Erika’s crotch. As much as I enjoy Erika and her lady bits, this is too much, even for Bravo. Either it’s a slow season for drama or Erika has a golden cha-cha. Either way, somebody needs to get wine thrown in their face or accused of having Munchausen, or I’m gonna lose interest.
Kim takes this opportunity to go in on Rinna, and all the unresolved stuff from the last few seasons bubbles up. Things get heated between the two, and Rinna brings up Kim’s arrest and the record scratches. Everybody just sits for a second with their mouths hanging open, and then the outrage begins. Everybody agrees: too far, Rinna. Too far.
In a shocking and surprising twist, Rinna offers an apology after Eden steps in, and like a grown person, Kim reluctantly accepts it. On the one hand, I hope they can find a place of truce, but on my other, reality show-loving hand, I hope they duke it out in a really nasty and humiliating way. (Don’t look at me.)
It’s a tie for highlight of the episode between Eileen shutting Dorit down, declaring, “Stop talking. You talk too much,” and Kim Richards admitting in her interview that she’s not wearing panties either. YASSS!
What did you think of all the silliness about Erika’s panty situation? Is enough enough? Let us know your thoughts in the comments section below.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills season 7 airs Tuesdays at 9/8c on Bravo.